What Makes You Feel Guilty?
Hey there lady!
How’s it going? That bad?
Your toddler busted a Styrofoam cup in your vehicle console? Yikes! That’s not good.
You had something brown on your arm all day at work and nobody bothered to mention it? Let’s hope it was chocolate. We’ll all pretend it was anyway. Everyone….look away!
Let’s begin to tackle a topic I think all moms deal with from time to time. Mommy guilt.
What is mommy guilt?
I don’t think I need to go into what being a mommy is at this point, so let’s start with guilt.
What is guilt? According to Wikipeadia, guilt is “a cognitive or an emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes (accurately or not) that he or she has compromised his or her own standards of conduct or has violated a moral standard and bears significant responsibility for that violation.”
Blah, what the hell does that mean?
Here’s what “mommy guilt” is:
- Having a child at 3 1/2 that doesn’t sleep through the night. At least, you might feel less guilt than #2, but definitely more exhausted.
- Hearing your child cry himself to sleep.
- Dropping your children off at daycare and going to work.
- Not going to work and still dropping the kiddos off at daycare.
- Turing on the television before your rebel rousers enter the house to give yourself 5 minutes before anyone starts asking for anything. It really only works for a couple of minutes. More like a few seconds.
- When you see your child’s report card and realize that by the end of the quarter he was only getting 10% of his spelling words right. Maybe you’re avoidance of spelling words is not a good thing.
- Seeing your 8 year old child still sucking on his first 2 fingers and wondering how you will ever get him to stop.
- Yelling “No!” to your child when she wants to follow you into the bathroom. You just want 2 minutes of privacy to go pee in peace.
- Having your child exclaim, “Sh*t”, every time she drops something and that’s your catch phrase.
- Wondering why your daughter won’t wear clothes and what you did wrong. Everyone else in the house wears clothes! Why won’t she.
Yep, this is mommy guilt!
I’ve experienced many pangs of mommy guilt since becoming a parent. If I had to divulge my biggest encounter with mommy guilt, I guess it would have to be: swearing I would never pigeon hole my kiddos by birth order and know that I do it every day. No matter what I do, I’m hardest on my oldest son. If he’s acting up, I look at him like he’s grown a second head.
“How could he possibly be jumping on the sofa? He’s the oldest and knows better.”
My middle child is always fighting for attention. He spends more time cutting up and trying to get laughs than anyone I know. When he’s not busy bemoaning his fate in life of the “baby” getting everything and never getting to do what the “oldest” gets to do.
And on to my dear sweet snuggle baby, she’s 4 and her daddy is just now seeing she might do something wrong. She’s an expert manipulator, who takes from her brothers by whatever means necessary and continuously gets her way; unless mommy intervenes. If only there was daddy guilt.
What gets your mommy guilt hopping? Your stomach churning. Your hands clammy with sweat.
I look forward to hearing your reply!