What Is Loss of Self?
What is loss of self?
- Making sure everyone gets up for school and is dressed. Do any of them dress themselves? “No.” When do you get your clothes on? “Right before I walk out the door.” Did you look in the mirror before you left? “No.”
- Ensuring all the homework, sight words, spelling words, and reading are reviewed and completed. Were you taking a spelling test? “No.”
- Preparing all meals. One of the 3 meals that all of your family will eat. Pizza. Spaghetti. Hamburger Helper. What is wrong with them that they won’t eat anything from a crock pot? Don’t they know that’s where the best comfort food comes from? Okay, not the point. Did you have time to eat? “No.”
- Cleaning. Cleaning the dirty hand prints off the tables and mirrors, ignoring the smeared hand prints on the walls, and attempting to do something with the explosion that resulted from meal time. Physical exhaustion? “Yes.”
- Presiding over endless lectures on proper behavior and conduct at home, between siblings, at school. Mental exhaustion? “Yes.”
- Stopping fights. The lectures don’t work when they’re not mature enough to be rational. “She stole it. He said he hated me. She said I was stupid.” Sure, they know what you’re saying and can repeat it verbatim, but it doesn’t apply to “them”. Did you take anyone’s toys? “No.” Well, at least not until everyone started arguing. Now, no one has toys.
- Supervising bath time. Somehow the babies, Barbies, and toy cars end up there with more soap on them than the kids. You have to pry the youngest one’s mouth open to get her teeth brushed. Ready to drop? “Yes.”
- Endless piles of laundry. You used to wash different colors in separate loads, but there are just too many of them now. You’ve been outnumbered. Do you even own an iron? “Maybe, but who knows where it is.”
- Getting everyone into bed. Again. “I need a drink. I’m hungry. I didn’t get dessert. My stomach hurts.” And back to bed again. Will it ever stop? “Nope.”
- Going to work for an 8+ hour shift. “Hallelujah!”
Yep, this is loss of self!
What keeps you from remembering that you’re more than a mommy? (With an aching back and running around in circles.)