Street Fair Time Is Upon Us!
It is time for loud music, grease-laden junk food, rides that you fear will fall apart with your precious children in tow, cheap plastic toys, and chain smoking attendants that bark orders at you or your beloved youngsters.
Street Fair Time!
Maybe where you’re from, it’s called a carnival. Or you don’t have such a creature and go to a more upscale circus or adventure park. It doesn’t matter. Most places have all the same stuff, except perhaps the chain smoking attendants. Let me tell you, you are missing out if you only go to the upscale establishments where you aren’t blessed with your child being told to take a break from the ball pit by a woman who has spent the last 45 minutes seemingly in a haze of smoke. Who knew she was really paying attention!
I’ve taken my kiddos to adventure parks both indoor and outdoor, but this was the first “movable” fair that they had attended. As a child, I went to them every year, but had avoided them like the plague since having children due to the cost and the perceived safety risk involved.
But, the dang ice cream truck guy, who they also didn’t know existed outside of cartoonland until last week, told them all about the fair going on in a close by town that upcoming weekend. So not only did I have to fork out $12 for bubble gum ice cream faces on a stick (Batman, Sonic, Powderpuff Girls, and some other thing on a stick that I bought for a neighbor girl), we now had a seed planted in their impressionable young heads.
Oh yeah, I remember, the other head was of a Monster High girl! Thank God, I thought I was loosing my memory.
Fast forward to the weekend and my husband brings up the fair and I thought it would be cheaper than going to an indoor carnival that they had already been to. So, I said, “Sure, let’s go.”
This was after a couple of hours at a church event and I didn’t really want to do anything else in my boycott all forms of work weekend!
Here’s 13 Tips that I Wish I Had Known Before Heading Off to Our Street Fair Adventure.
- It’s not cheaper. Well, maybe a little bit, but not much. If your husband has an obsession with the claw games like mine, this is probably cheaper.
- Don’t show up at the intermission between the daytime and nighttime sessions. Your little ones will ask you every minute, okay-every 5 seconds, how much longer it is until the 60 minutes are up. I broke down at the 10 minute mark and bought some tickets for individual rides. NOT cheaper!
- Don’t eat the chili cheese nachos and then get on the Octopus and Tornado rides with your daughter. You will feel nasty! I felt nasty!
- Know where the public restrooms or a bush are for your 4 year old daughter, who will not go in a port-a-potty. Who can blame her. It was what sent me over the edge of more nasty after the chili cheese nachos and wonderful fair rides.
- Get the bracelets and let them ride to whatever they want. They will have a blast. As long as it looks reasonably safe.
- Buy the stupid plastic inflatables instead of trying to win the prizes. You will save money in the long run. And know that before the next day is done that at least 1 of them will have met a destructive end.
- Have extra clothes in the car for those times that you think you will only be there for an hour and end up being there 5 hours later. It gets cold after dark.
- Be ready to console your oldest when he gets off of some rocket looking thing that he’s been begging to get his younger brother to ride for over an hour when he realizes he’s not as tough as he thought he was. The feel of his arms clinging to me made my heart warm. He’s not as ready as he thinks he is to be a teenager. He’s only 8.
- Buy a deep-fat fried funnel cake, Oreos, or a Twinkie when you start to feel better from the nachos. Or all 3. I wish I had gotten all 3. Darn it!!
- When it gets dark, realize that everything will look more sinister and the swing that your child was riding on 30 minutes before will now look like an evil monster that she is going to fall out of with every wave she sends your way. The attendant will begin to think you are a crazed lunatic as you continuously shout at her. Your nerves are shot and you are deathly afraid that you’ve pressed your luck one ride too many. Yep, this was me.
- Lie and say that when the bracelets are done at 9 p.m. that the fair is closed, because you don’t want to have to pay for more individual tickets. Also me and not to proud to admit it.
- Be aware that 1 of your children, who has been potty trained for over a year, just might pee her pants on the ride home in her sleep.
- Vow to not go to another one again for another year. You’re fried nerves and weak stomach can’t take it!
Okay, they were all me. 🙂
But also know that they will have a fantastic time and the next day they will be zombies until afternoon. Double win!
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