Remedies for Overwhelm in the 21st Century
My last post was on the reasons for overwhelm in the 21st century, so it seemed responsible on my part to share with you my thoughts on how to conquer overwhelm.
The top way to overcome overwhelm is to realize that that perfect woman doesn’t exist. Neither does her perfect family. Those glossy images in the magazines are touched up. Real life is messy and it is your job to embrace it. You don’t have to be perfect. Nothing is perfect. We are all a work in progress. And it is wonderful!
The second way to overcome overwhelm is to distance yourself from people who are dragging you down. If you are following someone who is presenting the image of being above reproach, stop following her. Only subscribe to people who are vulnerable and show compassion. Life is too short to look up to someone who is making you feel bad about yourself or your parenting self.
To take it a step further. If you have someone in your personal life that is questioning your ability to parent, trying to interfere, insulting you, keeping you in a “box” that you aren’t allowed to step out of, set boundaries with the person. Let the person know that what they are doing to you is not appropriate. If the person doesn’t validate your feelings, then distance yourself. These people are not healthy for you. You deserve better.
The last main remedy is to find a group of people that share their messy lives and embrace them. Finding a kindred spirit in this world is such a ray of sunshine for someone who is struggling to find their worth. I know. In my darkest days after my husband was unable to follow commands or voice his needs, sitting for 8 hours with him every day was very isolating. I didn’t know anyone else who had gone through their spouse’s stroke at such a young age. My husband couldn’t communicate, so I had essentially lost my soul mate and best friend. Then, I had to go home and take care of and reassure 3 small children.
The only solace that I found during the time was reading internet posts from caregivers and survivors of stroke. One night 2 of my friends took the kids to a movie and I sat at a coffee shop after leaving my husband and read hundreds of posts on what people had gone through. I probably sat there for 3 hours. Although nothing changed, I was empowered because I knew there was a community of other people out there who had been through a similar situation.
You have to find your people. Those people who make you feel empowered. Who validate you.
Who do you have to empower and validate you?