My Addiction to Order
I’m addicted to “order”. As a creature of habit, I want everything to be the same every day. I like everything organized and well planned out. I don’t like surprises or chaos. By having three children under the age of 10, my desire for no surprises and no chaos has been tossed out the window. As a result, my quest for order is a constant struggle. However, I will move heaven and Earth to get order by the end of the day. At nightfall, everything is put up in their assigned places, quiet is King, and I’m working into the night.
Addiction to Writing
Another addiction I have is to “writing”. Writing is what I’m doing in the night. It fulfills my soul. It is rare that I don’t write every day. If I don’t, I feel out of balance, anxious, and irritated. I love writing for myself. However, I also enjoy writing for others. When writing for others, I get another thrill for my order addiction. I receive an order from an employer, complete the task, and then have the pleasure of marking the assignment off my list.
Addiction to Food and Drink
I must not forget about my addiction to food and drink. I love caffeine and chocolate. Oh, I must not forget the carbs. Unfortunately, my husband has us on a low carb, low sugar diet. He’s good at it. I suck. Well, suck is a harsh word. I no longer eat a raspberry flip every morning, so I consider that a win.
Addiction to My Sweet, Sleeping Children
Regarding my children, I’m addicted to seeing their sweet, sleeping faces every night. I’m blessed to have them in my life and I get the pleasure of earning that blessing when they sleep. When they’re awake, they tend to bring chaos to my life. They argue, fight, eat food in rooms they aren’t supposed to, pee in places other than the toilet, climb on stuff, jump on stuff, and generally like to pick me off. In saying all that, I wouldn’t change a second of it for anything in the world. They are my determination, my purpose, and my joy.
Fruits of My Labor
As an adoptive mother, I have fought for them and have completed an intense amount of work in building a strong bond. I’ve started to see the fruits of my labor. My boys are now in Boy Scouts which has encouraged a stronger commitment to be a good steward. At Thanksgiving, they even asked if they could get up and use the restroom. Politely. They also weren’t phased by my grandma asking them the same question two or three times in a row. And, by Christmas, she forgot that she had ever met them.
Strokes and Cancer Suck
However, these situations have done nothing in comparison to the next two destructions to my addiction for order. Two years ago, my husband had a massive stroke at the age of 47. It was horrible. Equally as bad is that two months ago, my mom told me that doctors discovered lesions on her liver and we’re going to scan her ovaries the next day. I’ve spent my entire life planning for my mother to live into her 90’s, as well as myself. A stage 4 ovarian cancer diagnosis was not on my list. In the end, she ended up having colon cancer and not ovarian cancer, but it still sucks the same.
Order in Shambles
No one has cancer in my family. I was never going to worry about cancer. That was just shot to sh*t. Talk about an epic collapse of my order addiction. Now, I must research, plan, make doctor’s appointments, do genetic testing, have a colonoscopy, and whatever other steps I have to take to ensure that I live long enough to take care of my children into adulthood and help my mom live as long as possible.
Who else has had life punch them in the gut? What happened to you and how are you coping with the curveballs life has thrown your way?
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