A couple of days ago, I had a rough day. I normally hold myself together pretty well. Granted, it might be with duct tape and Guerilla Glue, but I’m hanging on.
However, on the day in question, I had a full mommy meltdown that ended with me sitting on my bathroom floor crying. I was exhausted both physically and emotionally. It takes a lot of energy to be a full-time mommy, hold down a full-time job, be a caretaker for a spouse with a brain injury, an adoptive mom, a foster mom, and a mom of multiple children. Those are a lot of hats to wear at one time, but I’m not going to get into that topic today.
I want to share that anyone can have a bad day, cry, have a pity party, and get back up again. You don’t have to give up on yourself. You don’t have to be strong all the time. You can have a moment of weakness. You can think for a moment that you are a crappy mother. But, you can also get back up off the floor, take a deep breath, and go back to rocking it in the mommy department.
Let me take you down the bumpy and sad road I traveled that day.
- I forgot my husband’s medication at home and he needs them like clockwork. I was tired and remembered getting them out of the cabinet for him, but not what happened afterwards. Now, before you get on to my case for my husband not taking care of himself, I will explain. My husband had a stroke a little over a year ago and can’t use his right hand/arm for much. It is difficult for him to open pill bottles. Luckily, I had an extra set of meds stashed in his office.
- I had to sit with a co-worker who was crying over being bullied and harassed at work. It is depressing that an adult woman is still getting treated like she’s in junior high by another woman who is 20 years her senior.
- I walked with another co-worker to meet with my husband for lunch. This co-worker has been a good friend for many years. She had just heard that her daughter, son-in-law and grandson had been in a car accident and their dogs had been killed in the accident. She was very worried about her grandson.
- I went to lunch with my husband and saw 3 ambulances and watched the life flight helicopter land. It was obvious that the accident was very serious.
- I had to drive an hour to sit in a hard metal chair for my foster daughter’s permanency court hearing. Every court date is stressful for me. It is hard to wait for years for the permanency of a child that I’ve cared for every day: loved, nurtured, disciplined, taught, fed, clothed, fought for on a daily basis while biological parents profess to care, but don’t and/or haven’t participated in the caregiving of their child.
- Worry about the appeal of my daughter’s case on the hour long drive back to pick up my husband.
- Find out that the grandson of my friend died after the accident and wonder why bad things have to happen in life; when there are no answers. I’m so sad for my friend and her family. I can imagine what they are going through, but must quickly throw down a shield between myself and the images. Going into my child’s room and never seeing him or her again. Getting into the car and never seeing him or her sitting in their car seat again. Finding a piece of food on the carpet and knowing that he or she dropped it and will never drop another piece of food again. It makes me sick, so I block it out…again.
- Pick up my kids at daycare to be met by the operator with, “I have bad news. Your son is suspended from daycare tomorrow, because he showed his behind with another 2 girls under the slide and lied about it. One of the kids is getting terminated from daycare and the other 2 are getting suspended.”
- Funny that the last straw was my daughter not listening to me. She is a threenager and seems to love not listening to me. However, her non-listening solidified my overwhelming feeling of giving up and feeling like I couldn’t do anything right. And, why would an innocent baby lose his life.
Thankfully, my husband took care of the kids while I had my moment of sadness and defeat. After about 30 minutes, I got back up. Yes, I was still exhausted, but I had “mommying” to get back to. I am a good mom. I do take good care of my kids and husband.
However, that doesn’t mean that you or I don’t have moments where we don’t need a good cry and go to bed at 9:30 p.m. to get some rest.
You don’t have to be a perfect parent. Cut yourself some slack.
How do you handle a rough day?
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